Does She Anything Like Me?

Reader Question:

I have been buddies because of this lady for a time. She dumped the woman date. We’ve been texting a large amount – like 200 emails each week. I keep obtaining blended signals from the girl, and that I like the girl. Do I need to do it? But Really don’t need to destroy the relationship either. We in addition hang out, and I think she searches for me inside halls.

-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)

Specialist’s Solution:

Hi, Ivan. Thanks for trusting us with this crucial personal problem.

There are a lot of possibilities to explain what are you doing right here, but I want to offer you my personal “take.” To begin with, you say she’s sending combined indicators, which most likely implies this woman is puzzled rather than sure of just what actually she wishes.

She could still have feelings or dreams for your connection she simply remaining, or she might be waiting for you to manufacture a step. She might still take the healing up process, and she might not be prepared to be observed openly with another man however.

Texting might her method of extend and hooking up immediately while she completes psychologically disconnecting from her ex. She can be perplexed if the woman friendship for your needs occasionally looks likes its growing into some thing bigger, but she is uncertain should you decide “like” like this lady.

As for you, Ivan, you are in a really precarious spot right now. She’s throughout the rebound and requires psychological support. She trusts both you and seems much better whenever she shares some messages or hangs away with you. She actively seeks you from inside the halls because she wants you, in a single method or another, and that is where you have to be careful. Should you decide place the relationship initial above the fascination with matchmaking her as a girlfriend, you’re in serious likelihood of getting directed on the “friend area,” that will be a difficult destination to getting away from.

My advice to you personally is to obtain including her and talk in person. It ought to be early in the day and faster than a proper time, however it will provide you with a thought if she wants to view you or otherwise not. Tell her she needs to get out and take an hour or so to have a good laugh appreciate herself and also you would really like the opportunity to speak to this lady in a little more range, also. Choose an area where your buddies never ever go – maybe a Starbucks anywhere – so she’s going to feel as though the woman confidentiality is being secured.

Ask her exactly how she’s undertaking if in case she actually is genuinely completed with her ex. Shell out really attention to her gestures. Is actually she bending towards you or out? Is actually she big-eyed and cheerful, or separated and thoughtful? Is actually she performing “girly” or like a buddy?

Absolutely yet another thing you should do: Tell the girl in a very matter-of-fact way that you love her. Then don’t state another word. She has to-be the next one to speak. Look the girl directly within the eyes so she will see your power as well as your sincerity. Boldly and confidently grasp the woman shoulder or fingers. Just be sure she understands you are interested in her in an enchanting man-woman method of method.

Be powerful and sort but never ever mental or desperate. Create the girl wanna come your way for any nurturing and comfy man you might be and not for all the good kid who is “safe” and benign. Her real thoughts and purposes should display themselves due to the fact dialogue unfolds.

Go for it,


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